Eureka Moment 6

My final eureka moment was today when I realized that this class really helped me when speaking with and dealing with the female subordinates at my workplace. I'm not the kind of guy who talks down to people but now when I speak to everyone I speak with a little more respect in my vocabulary and tone. As I stated in my final project discussion board, I had an employee feel that she was sexually harassed at work. She had to feel comfortable enough with me to address that. Granted this was a few weeks ago but the things I've read in our text help me tremendously in dealing with both the accuser and the accused. I handled it so well that I actually got acclimates from my supervisor on the matter. I do have to say a lot of it was because of this class. I realized that I not only have to feel bad for the victim but I also have to help the accused in realizing what they've done wrong or if they've been falsely accused, how I can help them. Playing with my little niece and nephew who are both under 3 years old, I wonder how the lines are going to change from now to how it will be when they get to be my age. Hopefully the gender communication in the future is more an even playing field than it is now.

In Response to Neeru

This class has flown by hasn't it.
My question to you is, do you really think its a gender norm for someone to dress their kids alike? Perhaps it is but I generally don't get the correlation. I think that when their born and while their not old enough to know the difference, I don't see a problem in dressing twins alike. Once the kids begin to grow up and develop identities, I think that's when it's important to stray away from the whole dressing them alike thing. Individuality is important especially when your a twin but when their just a lump of baby at 1 year old and they dont even know what they're wearing... Whats the difference? I do understand you opinion on the language on the bibs. Respectfully I don't agree with your opinion but I do understand it. Once again I believe if the kid is young enough to wear the bib, he or she doesn't understand what it says. So frankly it's no big deal.
Then again I don't have kids and I don't know what its like. Perhaps my opinion will change but as of now, I dont see anything wrong with it.

Eureka Moment 5

I was listening to the Howard Stern show and they were playing a game called "Guess the Tranny". They brought in 3 women into the studio and everyone in the studio had to guess who the man in the group was.
After the game the transsexual explained that he did not want to go through with the operation to completely make himself a woman. The emotional factors involved was something he couldn't deal with so he chose to get breast implants and live his life as a man dressed as a woman.
Later on in the episode Howard stated that as a parent, one would want his or her children to have every advantage in life and never encounter any problems in life. He went on to state that living a homosexual lifestyle while getting better is still not a universally accepted life style in the United States, and that the persecution and emotional tole on a child is nothing any parent would wish on their kid.
Before this class these discussions probably would have gone in one ear and right out the other for me. But now I stop to think about what it must be like for millions of people out there who stray from societal norms and that their voice is not heard or just plain ignored.
My eureka moment is that I realized now more than ever, diversity is more than just skin color and creed. Classification lines are getting blurred as we become a more progressive society. I'm looking forward to the future.

Response to Ilia

It seems like that kind of situation seems to repeat itself all the time. It always begins the "Is he cheating or isn't he conversation?" Whats the bigger contributing factor in this situation? Is it the trust or the jealousy. I believe its almost human nature to jump to the conclusion that something sexual is going on when prompted with that kind of scenario. Its almost as if your happy life is being invaded by some threat and your first instinct is to nip the problem in the bud as soon as possible. In that situation, I believe more often than not (especially these days) that the person is probably if not in a physical relationship, then an emotional relationship with the other someone who's outside the relationship. It's sad that these days its probably more accepted to cheat on a spouse more than ever. Especially with websites like www.ashleymadison.com. This website is a dating site for people who are in a relationship who want to cheat on their spouse.

I definitely agree with our text says that friendships between males and females are difficult, and they become even more difficult when someone has a significant other who has a friend of the opposite sex. Granted sometimes these friendships are legit but it seems like more and more often we hear stories of infidelity

Eureka Moment 4

This week's subject hit's close to home for me. I have a female friend who I currently have feelings for. Her brother is one of my best friends. I have known the both of them my entire life and we all have always been great friends. Everything has always been great. A few years ago me and we'll call her "M", started hanging out more and more, and we became the closest of friends. She had no problem keeping it at that stage, unfortunately I was the one who developed feelings for her.
Low and behold I did the dumb thing and I told her how I felt, and unfortunately she didn't reciprocate the same feelings.(story of my life) Anyway after that the friendship became more difficult to keep together. I started getting angry in my head at her for no reason. I got mad at myself for all the dumb things I did and asked myself a very very important question.

"Did I go out of my way to do things for this girl because we're such great friends, or did I do it because I liked her?"

That question haunts me to this day. Fortunately we're still great friends although admittedly not quite as tight as we used to be. But I decided a long time ago I'd rather have her in my life in some capacity, then none at all.

I realized it's probably the hardest when one friend has feelings and the other one doesn't. It leaves alot of questions that want to be asked but never do. I'll always want "M" in my life and my only hope is that one day, she'll feel the same way about me.

In response to Ashley's Eureka moment.

I'm well aware of the feeling of starting a new job. I worked at the same company for the past 6 years when last October, the entire company was laid-off. Now this was during a horrible time in the United States economy, not to mention the highest unemployment rate ever in the state of New Jersey. It was just a horrible time to lose a job. With nothing really going for me, I applied to temp agencies around the area and even still, there was barely any kind of work. So I would do odd jobs for a week here, or a month there. I felt very intimidated meeting new people every time I started a new job. Especially as a temp because you are only there for a really short period of time.
My view of co-workers is this, you spend 8 or more hours a day with these people. Sometimes you see them more than your own family. So I believe there's pressure to be accepted by these people and pressure on myself to like these people so you can be happy at your job. Thank the lord I love the people at my new job. 3 months in and I feel real comfortable at work.

Eureka Moment 3

My very close uncle was the victim of an accident this week. He was walking down the road when someone hit him with their car from behind. I attended his funeral merely hours ago. My Uncle Alex is leaving behind a son and two grandchildren. He was only 62 years old. My eureka moment is tied in losely here but stay with me. My cousin John lost his mother 8 years ago to cancer, and now 5 days ago lost his father to a car accident. My uncle never re-married, never sold his wife's car, didn't move and took care of his elderly mother in law every night, making sure she ate her dinner and take her to doctor visits. For 8 years my uncle lived without my Aunt Mary. I never saw him smile like he did when he played with his grandkids.
I consider my uncle married until the day he died. 51% of marriages end in divorce these days and frankly I find it so rare to know a man that stays faithful 8 years after his wife's death.

I know this post has nothing to do with media but it's my Eureka moment. So be it.

In this world where lack of gender communication can lead to animosity and anger, my uncle felt that communication even after death was more important than anything. He would visit her grave site the same time every week with a flower and would continue to talk to her until dusk.

Communication to my uncle was the most important, whether it be with his wife, his daughter in law, his mother in law or his grand daughter. The common media perception of a man is a guy who isn't in touch with his feelings, always shows a front, and isn't supposed to show signs of weakness. This is what the media puts out there as a real man's man.
I saw my uncle cry, speak to his wife, raise his son, hold his grandkids, continue his job at the Red Lion Diner, take care of his 90+ mother in law, all while being the backbone of his family.
To me, thats more of a real man than anyone would have you believe.

On personal note i'm sorry he's gone, he'll never be forgotten. If you didn't know him thats your loss. I miss you Uncle Alex.

Respons to Riannon

The exact same thing jumped out at me when I was reading it. Reading it written out, it sounded so possessive for the man. Man and wife. Thats hilarious when I read your post I thought to myself, man she took everything I was going to talk about. Moving on, I actually tested, out of curiosity, what the mail-person who comes to my work would say when I addressed her. I said to her, hey its the mail man... whoops i mean mail woman. She stopped me dead in my tracks and said actually we refer to ourselves as postal employees now. She explained that it was too confusing, and that her supervisor told her that when adressing a postal employee, there is no need to designate a sex. Even she wasn't buying it. In her exact words, "call me whatever you want".


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Eureka Moment 2

The question posed on black board really made me think. It has to do with foul language in today's society. This question really hit home for me. I have been an avid Howard Stern fan since the mid 90's. In the mid 90's I was only 13 years old. I have been listening since and have grown accustomed to comedy in my everyday life. In 2006 Howard Stern left terrestrial radio for Sirius satellite radio. This is a pay service where the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has no power to regulate what the disc jockeys. say.
1-9-06 was the first day of broadcast on Sirius and I was listening. It took them all a while to get used to the freedom and now 3 years later, the show has a curse word, sexual content, and improper things happening all the time. As a man in my mid 20's, i'm almost ashamed to say I love it.
But reading the question posed to us on black board really made me think. Before that I never thought twice about the language and the way people acted toward women on the show. I never acted that way in my real life around women. Around my friends was a different story, the conversations on the show almost mirror the ones we have when we are just sitting around enjoying the day.
I never considered our way of speaking dirty. Not that it wasn't, it just never entered my mind. This was my Eureka moment, the fact that listening to this kind of language every morning since i've been an easily influence boy, till today has really molded my method of speech, verbal and non-verbal.